11.17.00: Lizz and VH1 Together Again! LIZZLAND has learned that Lizz is once again working with VH1 on a pilot, looking for unknown divas for the next Divas Live special. More info on this as it becomes available.

11.8.00: Thank you! Thanks to everyone who showed up at Carolines Tuesday night and took in the festivities. And for those who couldn't make it, you could have viewed it online via Carolines' website. Speaking of which, while exploring their website, I found a Janeane Garofalo interview conducted by - yep, Lizzie. Click here to watch. (Quicktime Player required.)

10.25.00: Elect To Be At Caroline's November 7! Election Night, November 7th, come to Caroline's and join Lizz, along with Arianna Huffington, Joy Behar, A. Whitney Brown, Brian Unger, Lisa Birnbach and Martha Plimpton, for a special political roundtable. The fun starts at 7 PM when the club is transformed into what you might call a political sports bar, where you can watch election returns on five huge TV sets showing five different networks' coverage of political returns. Then starting at 9:30 PM, great minds merge in the most vicious political debate of the new millennium. Make your reservations now, call Caroline's at (212) 757-4100 or 956-0101. All proceeds benefit the Creative Coalition. Sorry, no guest list, but hurry and reserve your place now for this special event, as well as Lizz's return to Caroline's.
Another reminder: Start lurking your newsstands for the November/December issue of Maximum Golf magazine, with an article penned by Lizz herself. It's available at most newsstands. (As a reference, the issue out now is the October/November issue, so it is a monthly magazine, for those of you who might be confused.)

9.17.00: Banners Be Gone... In the process of changing the email links to reflect our new e-mail address, I decided to terminate all of the banner hyperlinks on each and evry of the major pages on this website. (They were all mostly dead links anyway.) However, you may still see one certain banner on each page (cough, cough).

9.15.00: New E-Mail Address... Please be advised that I have registered a brand new e-mail address for this website, which is lizzland@mail.com. The usa.net e-mail address is still active, but I'll be more active in checking the new mail.com account. You may still see some pages have the old "lizzland@usa.net" e-mail address on them, but remember that if you ever need the primary e-mail address for Lizzland, it is now lizzland@mail.com. Or you can just click on the button on the navigation bar below.
Next time I update this website, I shall check for any links to the old e-mail address and make the necessary changes.
Oh yeah, and Lizz is back - this was the scheduled day of arrival back on American soil. Not sure if we'll be receiving a recap on the rest of her glorious excursion - but then again, I wouldn't be surprised if she's got jet lag for nine weeks. (joke :)

8.27.00: Around The World In 40 Days - Part 2.

Without further ado, here's Lizz:

"The road to Granada is paved with? intentions. You know you are having a great vacation when you can honestly say to yourself, ?Enough of the Villa already!?? The historical beauty of [Grenada] is buried behind a fortress of late Franco era urban blight. Scores of 60?s and 70?s high rises, shabbily constructed and have been left to decay." Lizz settled into a hotel room in Grenada that she booked online. "It looked real cute and claimed it was near the center of town. Well, after an hour and a half of driving around the actual center of town, two drunk Algerian men were all too happy to help out two American blondes in distress, especially when they are then privy to where we are staying. Thank God they probably passed out before retaining the info but not before giving us surprisingly accurate directions." Eventually, Lizz soon discovered where, or shall we say, what, the ?center of town? was: "Behind the Landfilleria, under the Coca Cola Billboard, looms The Best Western Sol Alcano. (The words Best and Western were nowhere to be found on the website.) It had everything we were dreaming of: Conference rooms, satellite TV, discotheque and every American?s dream: an all you can eat buffet." Amen.

"It?s interesting how few American travelers you see when all a town can offer them is extraordinary historical significance and an impeccable preservation of it."

Lizz comments on the illustrious history of Grenada: "Isn?t it always the way. You get a thriving artesian community up and running and in come the slaughtering fundamentalists to ruin all the fun. Granada was no exception. The beautiful Alhambra, a place where Muslims ruled over this bustling community until Izzy and Ferdy waltz into town and start all that tedious expulsion people not like them (i.e. non Catholic Dark people). I know the Pope gave that 20 minute speech apologizing for some of that bad stuff, but I?m not sure he?s done atoning. After touring the Alhambra Palace that went from a Muslim monarchy to a Christian one, I can tell you one thing: Absolute power gets you real good gardens."

Ronda and Ronda we go? that is, a town in Seville that houses the oldest bullfighting ring in all of Spain. Lizz pointed out that the matadors take every August off. "Makes sense I guess. Who wants to carve up a bull in 115 degree heat. I won?t golf if it goes above 85? It was pleasurable, however, to see the courtyard where Franco?s merry men slaughtered hundreds of radicals (i.e. opinionated non-Catholic Dark people), and tossed them down a 1000 meter gorge. The Francofiles claimed it was some hooligans from Malaga, whatever Franco." But the real highlight of Ronda was a witchcraft museum. "Apparently, the definition of a witch is a woman who acts on her sexual desires and our friends the ancient order of the Christian Right find out about it and remedy the problem by setting up brutal torture devices in the town square of course. What about that love the sinner, hate the sin rap they always use? I guess that phrase wasn?t created until the American Inquisition of the 20th century? By the way, I am not seeking out these weird museums with sexual themes, they just appear to me. Maybe because sex to me seems like ancient history?" An example of an exhibit at this museum: "Aphrodisiac suppositories consisting of oysters wrapped in grape leaves".

Lizz also learned that most of the people in Seville worship saints and virgins. "The Catholics love their Virgins, and not just uber Virgin Mary. There are thousands of lesser known Virgins that get a lot of credit in this town. I assume the reason is the concept of the ?Living Virgin? in Spain seems extinct, so paying homage to Virgins of yore is befitting? They also love their saints. There is a holiday every other day here commemorating some Catholic Martyr. If Saint Augustine took a really good shit, the banks are closed and they have a procession in the street."

Lizz also checked out Seville?s legendary Cathedral. "It proudly boasts in the brochure, This Cathedral was specifically designed in such a grand scale and with a labyrinth-like quality so all who enter will feel as though they are insane. And who says organized religion is manipulative? The crying Virgin (what other kind is there really) is a focal point of this Cathedral and on a final note: Say what you will about the Catholics, they have the best headgear in the business. It?s the passion of it all that make you feel the spirit. The beauty of the Flamenco singer and the droning of the Latin high mass really instill the emotion of a higher spirit."

Next time, we?ll hear about her adventures in glorious Morocco.

8.17.00: Around The World In 40 Days - Part 1. During her trip, Lizz has informed some friends via email of her exploits during her vacation. Well, upon request, I have received permission to reprint a basic rehashing of her stories. Now, as hard as I tried, you can't really try and paraphrase things said in true Lizz fashion, so the format will have some quotes supported by segues, which will read like a storybook. And what a story the first week was... Enjoy!

"Whenever I enter an airport, the same thoughts inevitably creep up. How long does it take a fireball of a plane to make impact with the ground, Just how burnt is beyond recognition, and how much money does John Grisham rake in from airport bookstores alone? ? The flight was rather uneventful, thanks to the Pamprin and Cabernet cocktail I had invented with the help of my chemically bronzed Delta Steward." Upon arriving in Barcelona, she settled in her hotel room. "Our hotel was in the center of town. A shithole with a great view...of the apartment complex that houses Jerry Springer?s international guests? I fell asleep to the faint sound of General Hospital, En Espanol."

First stop, the Museu de l?Erotica. "It was anything but. It made me think someone had unearthed a 17th century Spencer Gifts and here we were. There is something really creepy about glass case after glass case of somebody else?s old wooden dildoes. I don´t even get how they work? An obese chainsmoking, crackwhore coughing up what?s left of her dignity, has you entering the museum with a deficit of sensuality." She also took in Barcelona?s popular "Culcha". "The world of Gaudi is awe inspiring as was the Goya exhibit of underclass torture. I won?t bore you with all the museum, beauty architecture blah blah. Its exquisite. There, enough."

Next stop, Valencia, where in a Cathedral she discovers what appeared to be The Holy Grail. "I had no idea anyone had ever found the Grail but the kind nun selling plastic rosaries in the gift shop assured me it was the grail and offered up as proof a picture postcard of Pope Paul (he was the CEO of the church when I was still there) kissing the chalice himself. I am convinced." Upon approaching someone selling replicas of The Holy Grail, she wonders: "How lovely it would be to enjoy our Vino Blanco from the Holy Grail then think better of it and buy a few postcards and a rosary, not plastic? Hate the food, love the Vino Blanco, hate the Lonely Planet. It is the guide book to 20 something backpackers looking for hash."

Lizz then proceeded to Villa Habs, a Villa near the Mediterranean. "Standard Villa stuff: Veranada, sweeping views, tiny perfect beach, skinny dipping, amazing food, lots of Vino Blanco. I think you get it." Afterwards, she heads to Grenada, and that?s where we leave off for today.

8.9.00: Flash in the pan... Notice something a bit, well, Flash-y checking out our website this time? Much thanks goes to Carter from karkee.com for putting together that fine intro. It's just a part of the growing evolution of this website... two-and-a-half years, and counting...
By the way, recently, the guestbook link was fixed on the menu, and in addition, a link to the new media section was added to it.

8.4.00: How old are you now? Birthday wishes are in order for our dear Lizz, who turns 39 on Saturday, August 5th. And to celebrate, she has just taken off on a much-deserved sabbatical across the country. She will return to the states in the middle of next month.
In the meantime, be sure to check out our new Media section, with audio clips of talk show appearances and stand-up routines. This is just the beginning, more to come soon. If you've got any clips on MP3 or RealAudio, feel free to send them to lizzlandmail@yahoo.com.

7.24.00: In case you happened to have missed the big notice above, we've now got a media section. So far, it's got two full radio interviews (both three parts each) and three of her stand-up routines in television. OK, so none of them are recent, but it's better than nothing... And it's another way of keeping you in tune with your favorite funny lady. (And mine :)

7.22.00: First off, I just registered the "lizzland.com" domain name, so in a matter of days, you can now access this website just by typing in - well, virtually the same URL minus six letters or so... all done to better serve you, the faithful fan.
Hope you caught the premiere of Don't Quote Me last week on VH1. It looks to be a promising series. Meanwhile, regarding the other new series, Rock N' Roll Record Breakers, I was told that Lizz only did the pilot, but couldn't commit to staying with the series since she decided to become involved with the Fox pilot "This Week Has Seven Days" (more on that very shortly). I decided to take in the premiere on Thursday night anyway, and I guess they retooled the format of the show as opposed to the segment Lizz taped for that show awhile back - if you recall, it involved a Gary Glitter cover band.
"Ah... ho ho... ha ha..." "This Week" may still see the light of... ugh, TV. I've been informed that Lizz and Brian Unger are exploring some places to do it in any way possible. I haven't been told what networks may be involved at the moment. You'll get more info when I get it.
Finally, Lizz will return to the newsstand for the first time since the Glamour article from awhile back - this time, she's the one behind the pen. Yes, she's writing the cover story (!) for the December issue of Maximum Golf Magazine (!!). The article focuses on an outing with Lizz, Scot Hamilton, Kevin Nealon ("SNL") and Tea Leoni (actress and wife of David Duchovny) in which they participated in a round of strip golf. (!!!) You read right, strip golf. Brace yourself for a classic piece of magazine literature as only Lizz can bring you.

7.16.00: All you Lizz fans best be watching VH1 starting this week. "Don't Quote Me", a new half-hour program which Lizz is a creative consultant, premieres Monday, July 17 at 7:30 PM. "Rock N' Roll Record Breakers", another show Lizz was involved with, premieres Thursday, July 20, with back-to-back episodes starting at 10:00 PM. For more information on these shows, go to VH1.com.

5.5.00: Just wanna let you know that Romance Classics is rerunning "Women And Shoes: A Love Story" for a few more times this month. Here are the airdates (all times Eastern):

Please check your cable or satellite listings for Romance Classics.
Also, I'd like to plug Volcanic Video and Dave Channon. He's got a few videos featuring Lizz, including her performance at a benefit for Jimmy Hoffa Jr. at Carolines. I had asked if he could put together a special video for me, and he took care of it. So check out his video collection and more, go to www.volcanicvideo.com.

4.24.00: A very good source forwarded me this information. It appears that once again, Lizz will be involved in a project with VH1. read on:

"DON'T QUOTE ME" -- Much like "Pop Up Video" made watching videos fun and entertaining, this edgy series superimposes words on video, using actual quotes from the artists themselves. The half-hour shows take on such hot rock-world topics as Cher's plastic surgery, Elton's attitude, Jennifer Lopez' posterior, Aerosmith's reps as Stones clones, and Shania Twain's curious interview habits. Executive producer, Bill Brand; executive in charge of production, Stewart Kasloff; producer, Dave Noll; creative consultant, Lizz Winstead (co-creator of VH1's "The Daily One"). (Premieres Summer 2000)

Are you sure that just read "co-creator of The Daily One" and not "The Daily Show"? Guess I'll have to confirm this, too... and of course find a few seconds to update the "TV Credits" page by May...

Don't forget, tonight is the final night (at least for now) you can get a chance to see "Women & Shoes: A Love Story" on Romance Classics. (Airdates are 7 PM, 1 AM and 3:30 AM, all times Eastern.) Here's the full description pn the special from Romance Classics' website:

It would seem that since they were invented, women have had an insatiable appetite for shoes. For example, the average American woman has twenty pairs of shoes in her closet! That's twice as many as the average guy. In May, ROMANCE CLASSICS attempts to solve the mystery behind women's obsession with this revered fashion accessory with the original half-hour special "Women And Shoes: A Love Story." Hosted by comedienne Lizz Winstead, co-creator of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," the special also features stars with a passion for shoes including Sandra Bernhard and Nancy Sinatra, and shoe czar Kenneth Cole who give their perspective on the subject.

Throughout time, the shoe has had more cultural significance than just foot protection. "Women And Shoes: A Love Story" will take a lighthearted look at the female passion for footwear while uncovering the root of women's desire for shoes. The enigmatic importance placed on this apparel can be seen through colloquial phrases commonly used in our language such as "I wouldn't want to be in her shoes," through songs about footwear like "Don't Step On My Blue Suede Shoes" and through famous fairy-tale shoes that transformed young women's lives such as Cinderella's glass slipper and Dorothy's ruby slippers. You'll be treated to a "sole searching" tour of the Museum of Shoes in Toronto and hear first hand accounts of real women with real-life shoe addictions as well as feature celebrities, style mavens and shoe experts.

Host Lizz Winstead will lead you through a quasi-scientific approach to the subject by conducting experiments and surveys exploring women's passion for shoes. Questions are asked of real women including "Would you take a job or career that forced you to wear ugly shoes?" and "What have you sacrificed for a great pair of shoes?" Experiments are also conducted such as determining what type of woman responds to an ad in a newspaper for free shoes by placing the ad and listening to messages left on the answering machine. Through it all, "Women And Shoes: A Love Story" concludes that women's hunger for shoes won't be satiated any time soon.

4.21.00: The reviews are already coming in for Lizz's new special "Women and Shoes: A Love Story", premiering this weekend on Romance Classics. Here's a blurb from Entertainment Weekly: