Not too long ago, Howard Stern - my other idol next to Lizz - announced plans of a new Saturday night show to compete with NBC's ailing "Saturday Night Live", whcih Stern said "ceased being funny". I agree. In fact, Howard and I both agree that "SNL" has lost its touch since they fired the funniest guy on the show, Norm MacDonald.

But that's beside the point. On April 1st, a "newsgroupie", i.e., one who frequently posts messages on Usenet, the Newsgroups, Deja News, whatever you wanna call it, by the name of "mcginty" posted this message:

Subject: Liz Winstead for Howard Stern TV show

Hire Liz Winstead for Howard Sterns new TV show!
She's funny...
She can succesfully produce and star in a comdy series...
She's unemployed...
She's a lesbian...
What more do you want?

Okay, I agree with the first few statements about her being funny, successful in producing and starring in a comedy series, and (sigh) her being unemployed. But a lesbian? Come on. This guy might be trying to corce Howard into doing something he might regret. After all, just because a woman like Lizz does a segment called "Out At The Movies" or worked with esoterically-known lesbian stand-up Suzanne Westenhoffer (so I've heard once) does not qualify for grounds of her being gay.

Nonetheless, the public replies:

From "Porta58" on 04/02/98:

she was good on the daily show (anyone know why she left?) and did a funny bit on the "tenacious D" show. she's got my vote.
(NOTE: In an e-mail reply to me, she confirmed that she had made a mistake; she was really thinking about Janeane "in Sicilian means 'zero talent'" Garofalo.)

From "STTWARD" on 04/02/98:

Someone who can take a joke. She'd last about 10 seconds with Howard given her reaction to Kilby's hummer joke.
(NOTE: I think Lizz pretty much knows where Howard is coming from. In contrast, I don't believe she was expecting such a comment like that in the Esquire article from someone whom she used to be such good friends with.)

From "Mark Tennenhouse" on 04/02/98

Uh... she's one o' them "feminist" type lesbians, and not a "Scores" lesbian (the kind who fondle other women while Howard and his friends watch). I can't imagine that she'd ever sink to that level (not that Howard's even heard of her anyway...).

MjT

From "Uthegentel Barris'Armgo" on 04/04/98:

Lizz comes off in public as a shrill, and bitter ballbreaker.
MARK

From "YankeeMan" on 0/04/98:

Howard isn't funny though. Never has been, never will be. what planet are YOU from?

And the final one as of yet, which is not very similar to the previous one...

From "Brian Lundy" on 04/04/98:

Howard IS funny, Lez isn't even close. Never will be.
(NOTE: I don't know whether or not this guy intentionlly put the "e" in place of the "i" in her name. At any rate, if he ever sees this, I'll likely be expecting some hate mail from him pretty soon.)

All messages from Deja News, Copyright 1998