The One-Man CBS Boycott
By DIERDRE DOLAN

Craig Kilborn is a smooth talker and he's very, very pretty and he does a nice job with The Daily Show over on Comedy Central - but should he really be the guy to replace ol' Tom Snyder in the post-Letterman slot on CBS? Do we really need a talk-show host who is to David Letterman what Whitesnake was to Led Zeppelin? That is, a botched clone who exaggerates the defects of the original while reproducing none of the original's charm? "Craiggers" is Dave without the torture, Dave without the deep respect for broadcasting, Dave without the self-loathing....
Anyway, nobody was more upset with the appointment of Mr. Kilborn as the incoming savior of CBS late, late night than one Joseph Covais, who found the news "very vomit-inducing". Mr. Covais was a big Daily Show fan himself, but more for its head writer and co-creator, the pissed-off feminist comedian Lizz Winstead, than for Mr. Kilborn. Mr. Covais even started a Web site in Ms. Winstead's honor, and, no, he was not happy when Mr. Kilborn told Esquire magazine that Ms. Winstead would give him a blow job if he asked her to. Comedy Central pseudo-suspended Mr. Kilborn for a week after the comment (they were in reruns at the time), and Ms. Winstead ended up leaving the show and signing a gag agreement on her way out the door, so we've never gotten to hear her trash Mr. Kilborn in return for her remark....
When Mr. Covais (who asked to be referred to as "the king of all Lizz Winstead fans") heard the news of Mr. Kilborn's promotion to a big network (come to think of it, is that really a promotion these days?), he sprung into action - calling for a boycott of CBS and David Letterman's production company, World Wide Pants! The only problem was, he found only one other person willing to join him in his anti-CBS crusade....
"I concocted this boycott out of respect that Lizz walked out on her job on The Daily Show because of what Craig said in Esquire," said Mr. Covais, a 21-year-old computer science major at Lehman College. "My boycott started on May 4 and abruptly ended on May 6. I got e-mail addresses from the news groups who were talking about Winstead and sent them e-mails with the subject, Would you let a sexist host a late-night show? I got replies from about half the people, but most were in favor of Craig. To tell you the truth, I only got one guy to say he would sign the petition. It it was successful, I would have presented it to CBS to show them that they shouldn't hire Craig Kilborn after what he did because this is not a good image to fill Tom Snyder's shoes. May I say that it was vomit-inducing news again?" Sure. But why are you so devoted to Lizz Winstead? "She is, what's that word I like to use to describe her?" (Long pause.) "Fecund! F-E-C-U-N-D. And a witty and highly intelligent human being. I'm sick and tired of hearing all these comedians getting their own sitcoms. Where is Lizz's sitcom?"...
Have you met Ms. Winstead? "I've seen her at Carolines [Comedy Club]. She was excellent. I met her after that show. And I met her at a couple of tapings of The Daily Show. She was sitting right behind me, smoking and eating celery and cottage cheese."...
Your fight is over, Mr. Covais, but the cause survives! Aux barricades!

Copyright 1998 The New York Observer


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